In Search of Peace

I yearn for peace.  One that is not rooted in the external.  I want an internal peace that rests in hope.  A hope that bleeds passion and positive energy.  Peace can fade in hands of one that places it in the shallow waters of opinions.  Unstable is the footing of minnows. I don't want to be a minnow when I am a whale.  

What is the point of being alive if I don't live on purpose?  I don't get it.  Why following people that are afraid of deep water?  Is there peace if there is no evidence of adversity?  Is there growth if there is no pain?  I don't want people to follow me if I am not going anywhere. It makes no sense.  

We empower people to tell us what to do, what to eat, how to live yet these same people don't participate in living on purpose.  They are spectators that have no vested interest in our success.  They want followers but have no clue on how to lead.  Don't follow me if I am not walking.  

Non action is death covered in laziness.  Our mouths speak but are feet sink.  We dig our graves in the words we refuse to follow.  Allowing worry to be our shovel and fear to be our coffin.  We rest in everything but peace and pass on the slow death to our witnesses.  We tell stories.  Our fiction is our existence and the roles we live only masks the person we are.  
​I don't want to hide anymore.  I am insecure and that is okay.  I am afraid and that is okay.  I am aware and that is where I find peace.  A peace that tells me it is okay to not be perfect.  It is okay to not have all the answers and have it all together.  A peace that leads me to live in spite of my perceived weaknesses.  A peace that frees me from the casket of fear and uproots the worry that has covered me.  Resurrecting me to the present and clothing me in purpose.  I am free and regardless of the results my life is ....all I discover it to be.  I don't need to know to act. I choose life so I live.  Let the chips fall where they fall.