I used to think that something was wrong with me. I have always struggled with following the crowd – I need a reason to follow, while it seems most just follow because someone is leading. I don’t accept reality as is; I question it. I question everything. I want more than surface level understanding. I want to know things at its root and that’s where I tend to find trouble. Because I go against the grain, many people have a problem with me. They don’t understand how I “tick.” They think I’m being insubordinate but I ask, to whom am I supposed to be subordinate to – God?
We were created to have our own relationship with the Spirit. If you look at the examples in the bible, you can see that God worked through the contrarians. Jesus was a contrarian; so were David and Abraham. A true believer usually goes against the grain – fighting what’s comfortable and “normal.” Do you really believe that Jesus would have been satisfied with just sitting in church every Sunday morning? I don’t. Not with so many people ignorant of their purpose.
Our kids are being pressured to be on social media and keep up with the latest fashion trends and we feed into it, giving them expensive phones and shoes thinking that we’re helping them “fit in” and make friends. We don’t empower them to be who they are because we are not being who we are. We are just being who we are supposed to be. It hurts me that we can’t just be honest with each other. We can’t just live the way we feel in our hearts because we don’t want to be an outsider. We don’t want to be rejected and hated. We would rather be loved by others than love ourselves unconditionally.
The path of least resistance is what we take. We don’t want to rock the boat. We know what needs to be done but too afraid to do it. We must understand that our kids imitate us. The only way to break the cycle is for you and me to be who we truly are. We have to confront the humiliation of being different and be willing to lose friends; go a different way.
Jesus’ family was not supportive of His purpose. His city was not supportive either but as He went, He found people willing to help Him get his message of love to others. The heart of a contrarian leads even when no one is willing to follow. They show the world there is another way and those who are willing to take the path of resistance find fulfillment and love as they go. So what will it be? Are you willing to be a contrarian?
Do I really want God's help?
The obvious answer is yes, yet my actions don't always align with my beliefs. I act alone, not even considering God in my plans. God is an afterthought until things fall apart. Then God gets the blame for my faith not being validated. It is like getting mad at a friend because you got in a car accident but they didn't even ride with you.
It is so easy to get caught up in what you do that you don't realize that you are ignoring the One that gave you the inspiration. We can make the excuse that we are too busy but we make time take "selfies". We have plenty of time for what we view as important yet we say God is the most important thing in our life. We don't want to miss out on anything but having a deeper more intimate relationship with God. Our "selfies" become our idol that keep us from seeing God's presence working through our life. God is with us but we don't know it and because of our ignorance we can't appreciate Him.
I don't want to be ashamed of God. I don't want to live with God out of the picture. I don't just want God's help, I want His presence. I want to walk with God. I want to talk to God. I want to be a part of God's life. I don't have all the answers and that is okay; God does. I don't know how my life will turn out but God does. I want to be fully integrated in God's plan. Honestly I don't know how I can change how I have been without God's help. I need God every step of the way.
God I just want to be a part of your picture.
I have found that when life is chaotic and it seems there is no place to rest. To take a moment. The moment brings me to the present. In the present, I find the Son. In Him, I discover freedom from the pressure to be someone I am not. I find acceptance of who I am. I find that my worries are nothing to stress about. In the Son, I find rest. The storms of life calm in His presence. I do not have to be afraid of what is to come or what has come for the Son is present in my present. Now I can believe the impossible. Now I can see. I see only this moment and in it, I see the beauty of it. What seems to be a blemish on the canvas of my life is merely an accent to a beautiful masterpiece.